your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
