Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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