Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
