just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
