Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
