hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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