Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
