"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
