i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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