the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
