Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
