glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
