Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
