he puts the penis in happiness.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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