I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
