It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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