I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
