Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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