wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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