is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
