plz talk dirty to me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
