Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found puke in my bra..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
