I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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