Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
