Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
