He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
