Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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