Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
