i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
