i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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