theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
