Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
