We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They have beer where we have blood.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
