If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
