He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
