Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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