We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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