I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Send help, water and tortillas.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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