mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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