she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
