Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
