I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
