He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
