the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
