it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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