season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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