Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
