I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
