So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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