I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
