i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize