Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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